Anythang Ya'll Can Do
by TheCartoonusMaximus
Summary: Anything that Johnny Spirit can do, Operetta can do better! A little singing match between the two monstrous teens, featuring the song "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better."


Operetta sat in her desk, steaming. She was currently sitting in detention, being punished for something she didn't even do. If she had been the one who'd gotten in trouble in the first place, she'd be completely fine with it, but she hadn't done anything!

Instead, she had been "busted" for sabotaging the fearleaders bake sale. Now, she knew good and well who the sneaky culprit really was (since that catty feline was slinking away from the kitchen when Operetta had gotten there to see if her friends needed any help) but what was the point in knowing the truth if no one would listen to you?

She leaned her head back in her seat and sighed, her hot breath pushing red and black bangs off her face.

She shot back up in her seat when the classroom door was thrown open, the loud bang filling the air and hurting her eardrums. Ms. Bloodgood's hand pointed into the room from out in the hall, her commanding voice filling the silence. "DETENTION, MR. SPIRIT!"

"Ah'm goin,' Ah'm goin," the ghostly delinquent snapped, floating into the room and plunking himself down in the seat beside Operetta. The door slammed shut behind him, locking itself as it closed.

Operetta glanced over at the boy, recognizing him almost immediately as her musical rival, Johnny Spirit. He was sitting nonchalantly in his seat, his eyes closed, his arms bent behind his head and his transparent feet resting on the desk in front of him.

"So," she asked him after a moment, causing him to open one eye and look at her. "Whatcha in for? Disturbin' the peace?"

He smirked at her. "Somethin' like that. Actually it was for takin' all the toilet paper out o' the boys bathroom an' replacin' them all with rolls o' duct tape."

Operetta frowned at the mental image of what must have ensued after his little 'gag.' "Ah don't think that's very funny. Ya coulda seriously hurt someone!"

"Whatever." Johnny just shrugged, clearly not caring. "An' what'r you in for, anyway? Bein' lousy on the keyboard?"

"Hey, now!"

"Oh, don't be gettin' all 'righteously indignant' on me, Phantom!" the ghost responded to her outrage, sneering at her. "Next t' me, yer nothin' but another amateur!"

"You best be takin' that back!" Operetta stood up, taking a defensive stance. "'Cause you an' Ah both know that anythang you can do, Ah can do better!"

Johnny snorted, immediately associating her choice of phrases with a popular song. "Don't ya'll be tellin' me that yer gonna start singin' now, Phantom! Ya can't control yer hypno-voice… not that ya can sing well anyway…"

Operetta was positively fuming by now, anger filling her to the point where she wanted to reach out and strangle the ghost that hovered in front of her. "Ah can too control mah voice, ya sassafrassin' varmint! Just you take a listen!"

Grabbing at the first song that came to mind, she began to sing. _"Anythang you can do, Ah can do better!"_

Johnny snorted again, but, seemingly unable to help himself, he dove in with the man's part of the song. _"Ha!"_

_ "Ah can do anythang better than you!"_

_ "No, you can't,"_ the ghost countered.

_ "Yes, Ah can!"_

_ "No, you can't!_

_ "Yes, Ah can, yes, Ah can!"_

Johnny glanced sideways at the phantom girl, a smirk on his face. _"Anythang you can be, Ah can be greater! Sooner or later, Ah'm greater than you!"_

_ "No, yer not."_

_ "Yes, Ah am!"_

_ "No, yer not!"_

_ "Yes, Ah am!"_

_ "No, yer not!"_

_ "Yes, Ah am! Yes, Ah am!"_ Walking away, Johnny threw his hands into the air in exasperation before turning back to her, pointing his see-through fingers as if he were holding a gun. _"Ah can shoot a partridge, with a single cartridge!"_

Operetta cocked an eyebrow at him, raising her own hands as to draw back a string in the air. _"Ah can hit a sparrow, with a bow an' arrow!"_

_ "Ah can live on bread and cheese!"_

_ "An' only on that?"_ Operetta asked, pretending to be astounded.

_ "Yep!"_

She smirked at him cruelly. _"So can a rat!"_

The ghost turned to glare at him, but continued on at any rate. Now, they were both switching to argue in the music world, one of the subjects that they knew best. _"Any note you can sing, Ah can sing higher!"_

Glaring right back at him, Operetta rose to the challenge eagerly. _"Ah can sing anythang higher than you!"_

_ "No, ya can't!"_

_ "Yes, Ah can!"_

As they went back and forth with one another, they both raised their voices an octave or so, pitching their voices just a bit higher each time.

Finally, Operetta finished by taking a deep breath and releasing the highest pitched note that was monstrously possible. _"Yes, Ah CAN!"_

The windows of the room splintered, the glass breaking under the strain of such a sharp sound.

Johnny stared at the phantom in bewilderment, his white jaw slightly slack. _"How do ya sing that high?"_

_ "Ah'm a girl!"_ she answered, a hint of laughter in her voice.

Shrugging, Johnny merely dropped that subject, moving on. _"Anythang you can sing, Ah can sing softer!"_

_"Ah can sing anythang softer than you!"_

And so began an argument of how quietly and softly the two of them could sing, and they both began to drop and lower their voices, each straining to hear one another before very long.

_ "No, ya can't."_

_ "Yes, Ah can."_

_ "No, ya can't…"_

_ "… Yes, Ah can…"_

Johnny's smirk widened as he used his ghostly abilities to make his voice sound like breath, or a slight breeze. _"… no… ya can't…"_

Seeing that smirk on his face caused Operetta to snap, and she lashed out at him violently, attacking him with her powerful voice. _"YES, AH CAN!"_

The force of her vocal shock waves sent Johnny reeling, but he stood his ground, coming right back at her. Although, he did decide to take a break from the realm of music for a bit. _"Ah can drink my liquor, faster than a flicker!"_

_ "Ah can drink it quicker, an' get even sicker!"_

_ "Ah can open any safe!"_ He came back, snapping his fingers as if to imply just how easy it really was to steal.

Operetta gaped at him. _"Without bein' caught?"_

_"Mm-hmm."_ He grinned at her proudly.

She reached over and punched him on the shoulder. Hard. _"That's what Ah thought, ya crook."_

He rubbed his shoulder and glared at her before jumping back in, going to hit right where it hurt. _"Any note you can hold, Ah can hold longer!"_

_"Ah can hold any note longer than you!"_

They bantered with one another, once more going back and forth about whether they could or couldn't. Operetta eventually ended this section of bickering by holding a single note for nearly fifteen straight seconds.

_ "Yes, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII can."_

She promptly collapsed forward, all the breath in her lungs completely gone. She was caught by Johnny before she hit the floor though, and he looked at her with some concern, willing and ready to let her win this round.

_ "Yes, ya can!"_ Johnny sang with a note of deep appreciation in his voice. He stared down at the red-haired phantom in his arms, fervently hoping she hadn't hurt herself. _"Where d'ya keep all that air?"_

Operetta grunted a bit, tilting her head back to look at him tiredly.

He looked away, allowing silence to fill the room until she got her breath back. Once she was breathing regularly and standing on her own feet again, he decided to test her, not giving her too much slack. _"Anythang you can sing, Ah can sing faster!"_

She came right back at him, ready for more and letting nothing stand in her way. _"Ah can sing anythang faster than you!"_

_"No, ya can't,"_ he sang quickly.

Operetta sped up her voice. _"Yes, Ah can!"_

_ "Noyacan't."_

_ "YesAhcan."_

_ "Noyant."_

_ "Yeacan."_

Coming to a stalemate and meeting one another note for note and speed for speed, they both glowered and turned away from one another t think the other could best them at.

_"Ah can jump a hurdle!"_ Johnny leapt into the air, as if to prove how high he could get himself.

Operetta responded by unbuttoning part of her shirt, revealing some of her old-fashioned underwear beneath it. _"Ah can wear a girdle!"_

_ "Ah can knit a sweater!"_

_ "Ah can fill it better!"_

Johnny stared down at her, looking her up and down, before turning away and singing proudly. _"Ah can do most anything!"_

Operetta gazed up at him curiously. _"Can you bake a pie?"_

_"No,"_ he muttered in shame, frustrated that she had found one of the few things he couldn't do.

_"Neither can I."_

The Spirit turned and glared at her, furious that she had brought up something that even she wasn't any good at. She only smiled at him cockily.

Growling, Johnny resorted back to their vocal competition. _"Anythang you can sing, Ah can sing sweeter."_

_ "Ah can sing anythang sweeter than you!"_

Calming himself, Johnny smiled broadly and sang with a low, husky voice. _"No, ya can't."_

She smiled and sang back to him dreamily. _"Yes, Ah can…"_

_ "No, ya can't…"_

_ "Yes, Ah can…!"_

He took her purple hands in his own clear ones, holding them to his chest and singing to her adoringly. _"No, ya can't…"_

She gazed up at him lovingly. _"Yes, Ah can!"_

_ "No, ya can't."_

_ "Oh, yes, Ah can…!"_

He lowered his face near hers, scowling at her and speaking to her harshly once more. _"No, ya can't, can't, CAN'T!"_

Her face rose to meet his, every inch as angry. _"Yes, Ah can, can, CAN!"_

They both separated, singing to one another at the same time, Johnny singing _"No, ya can't!"_ just as Operetta sang _"Yes, Ah can!"_

Hearing all the commotion, Ms. Bloodgood entered the room to see what they were up to. But, by the time she got there, both students were sitting quietly in their seats once more, pointedly not looking at one another.

She looked them both over, making certain that there had been no physical fight between them. "What is going on in here?"

"Nothin,' ma'am," they both answered, still making a point to not notice one another.

She glanced around the room before her gaze landed on the teenagers again. "May I inquire what happened to the windows?"

Silence.

Huffing in irritation, Ms. Bloodgood stalked off, trying to think up more punishments for both of the troublemakers.

And, when she was out of earshot, the two struck up another singing argument, this one more heated than the last.

The End.


End file.
